Do Soul Ties tell Lies?
If you’re anything like me, you're completely enamored with the spiritual world and how it connects to our souls. If we think with our head (logic), feel with our heart (emotion), then where exactly does the soul sit in all of this?
And more importantly, how do we know what it wants?
Or… if we’re being honest… how do we know it’s not lying to us?
Because not everything that feels deep is divine.
What does the soul even want?
In my research of the soul (or soul searching, if you’re nasty, shout out to Janet Jackson), I found some pretty interesting things.
Let’s start here: what is the soul?
Merriam-Webster defines the soul as: the immaterial essence, animating principle, or spiritual core of a living being. Depending on the context, it can describe anything from a religious, eternal entity to a person’s inner character to a genre of music.
Which already tells you… We’re dealing with something fluid. Not fixed. Not universally agreed upon.
Ancient Greek philosophers like Plato and Aristotle saw it as something eternal - an occupant of the body, or the form that gives the body life.
Abrahamic religions tend to view the soul as created by God - something sacred, accountable, and eternal.
Buddhists challenge the idea of a fixed “self” altogether
Biblical Hebrew thought flips it completely: you don’t have a soul - you are one.
So, depending on who you ask, the soul is either something you carry… or something you are.
What does soul mean to me?
Growing up in a Christian household as a kid, I didn’t question it much. The soul was something ‘God gave me’, something I was responsible for, something that needed saving.
But it wasn’t something I felt yet.
That changed around the age of nine.
Life got louder. Heavier. A few traumatic moments cracked something open in me, and suddenly, I wasn’t just existing, I was sensing everything around me.
People felt different. Energy felt different.
I started noticing things I couldn’t explain - like being around certain people and feeling… off. Not unsafe in a loud, obvious way. Just a quiet discomfort that sat in my chest and wouldn’t leave.
And I didn’t have language for it at the time, so I just… observed.
I was quiet - so quiet I got awards for it (which is still funny to me, because I’ve never been a quiet person by nature). But the truth is, I wasn’t shy.
I was observing.
If I’m quiet around you, it’s rarely because I don’t have something to say. It’s usually because something in me is trying to understand you - your energy, your intentions, how your spirit moves.
And if it doesn’t align… I pause. Sometimes people think I don’t have anything to talk about, or nothing is going on in my head - I just let them, whatever.
When connection feels like confirmation
As I got older, that sensitivity turned into something else: attraction.
Not just romantic attraction, but emotional, spiritual, and energetic.
I started choosing people based on how they felt to my soul.
And that’s where things get tricky. Especially in dating.
Let’s be real: when you’re young and figuring out love, you don’t always meet people who are careful with your spirit. Some people connect deeply… yet still lack good intentions.
So now you’re left holding something that felt sacred… but hurt you anyway.
That’s where the question comes back:
Was that my soul… or was that my attachment?
So, what IS a soul tie?
This is where things get blurred - and honestly, a little dangerous if you’re not grounded.
Spiritually, people describe soul ties as deep, unbreakable connections between two people. Bonds that transcend time, logic, even physical presence.
Sounds beautiful, right?
But let’s bring it down to earth for a second.
Logically speaking, what people call “soul ties” are often:
trauma bonds
attachment patterns
emotional imprints
chemical responses (yes, your brain is involved in this too)
That doesn’t make the experience fake. It just means the explanation might be less mystical… and more….. human.
And if you ignore that part, you risk staying stuck in something that’s not meant for you.
The positive side of soul ties. Not all of it is bad.
Some connections:
feel safe, not chaotic
grow you, not shrink you
bring clarity, not confusion
remain consistent, even when life isn’t (big one)
These are the people who meet your soul and respect your reality. And you do the same for them.
There’s alignment there….. not just a sexual intensity.
The negative side of soul ties
This is the part people don’t romanticize enough:
thinking about someone constantly, even when they’ve hurt you
feeling “pulled” to someone who disrupts your peace
confusing emotional highs and lows for depth
struggling to let go long after the relationship has ended
feeling like your identity is tied to their presence
That’s not your soul being poetic. That’s your nervous system being hooked. And calling it “spiritual” can keep you from walking away. I’m very guilty of this.
How do you know if you have a positive soul tie? Ask yourself, honestly:
Does this connection bring me peace or confusion?
Am I growing, or am I stuck in cycles?
Do I feel grounded in myself, or dependent on them?
If they disappeared today, would I still feel whole?
Your answers will tell you more than any label will.
Do soul ties tell lies?
Sometimes… yes.
Not because your soul is deceptive, but because your interpretation of it can be.
We can dress up attachment as destiny. We can call intensity “alignment.” We can mistake longing for purpose. And that’s where we have to be careful.
How do you break a soul tie?
I won’t pretend I’ve mastered this. It’s why I’m writing this.
But I do know this: it’s less about “cutting cords” in a mystical sense… and more about reclaiming yourself in a practical one.
creating distance (real distance, not just mental), don’t text, call, FaceTime, voice note, snail mail, or hire a pigeon! No animals!
interrupting patterns
tending to the parts of you that got attached (THERAPY)
grounding yourself in reality, not just feeling
leaning on people who are present, not just remembered
For me, that’s looked like yoga, meditation, honest conversations, and sometimes… sitting with the discomfort instead of trying to spiritualize it away.
Because healing isn’t always magical.
Sometimes it’s just discipline.
Final thought
I still believe in the soul. I still believe in a connection that goes beyond logic.
But I also believe this:
Not everything that feels deep is meant to stay.
And not everything that lingers is love.
Some things are lessons.
And your soul isn’t here to trap you in them.
