Father and the Witch | Part 1: The Flaming Beast
As I lay scattered across the floor of a glass room, my mind, body, and soul reflect across a ceiling that looks like the cosmos. I cannot move or speak. I can only exist.
Slowly, painfully, each part of me begins to split - split from left to right - toward something waiting patiently in the dark. A presence - a black entity. It feels like an ending, or maybe a beginning? The closer it gets, the weaker I become, but there's hope in the light ahead.
Is this what it feels like to become something new?
___
Friday. My holy day.
No matter how chaotic the week gets, I look forward to 7 p.m. - when I'm home from the office - when everything softens into something distant and manageable. Today, I spend my lunch break in my car, hiding from the constant chatter of coworkers. I'm exhausted - mentally hollowed out by meetings - and I need silence.
I fall asleep.
A storm builds while I rest. Not just any storm - this one feels alive, charged - hovering over me as I sleep. I wake abruptly to a crack of thunder, disoriented.
Shit! I'm fifteen minutes over.
No umbrella. Just a flimsy plastic bag that I brought to carry my lunch in, which I hold over my head as I run through heavy rain. I slip back into my desk unnoticed, dry myself off, and stare blankly at my screen.
But the dream stays with me.
By the time I get home, it's close to seven. I turn on my record player - put on something to fall asleep to, strip down, and sink into the couch to shake off the day and doze off into another dream.
In my dream, I'm in the deep depths of the sea as an underwater orchestra plays while I float around enjoying its melodies. I swim toward it, welcoming the music in my soul - I'm weightless - until suddenly, everything rises, burns, and disappears into a million black pieces.
I wake to my phone ringing on full blast.
"Silver! Please tell me you're on the way!" my friend Viv says.
Fuck - I'm late to her first art exhibition. I forgot.
"I'll be there," I say as I shake the drowsiness from my voice.
My apartment - the hypnotic red cave - glows softly around me as I walk to my bathroom. I quickly shower, then reach for the red dress.
The red dress.
It fits like memory. Like an intention. I become something else in it - a siren—a beacon of hope for someone ready to fall in love or take my soul.
It's still pouring out as I call for a cab. I get into the car, and we weave through the storm to Viv's exhibition. We finally arrive after fifteen minutes.
"Take the umbrella," the driver says. "And watch out for the beasts tonight," he says while smirking.
I check in with the concierge at the entrance, and he points me to the elevator, which leads me 20 floors up.
The art exhibition Viv created is titled The Stars Within Us. It tells the story of human nature over time and how, much like a dying star, we've collapsed in on ourselves, but there is true beauty in the explosion. We must not forget the energy that radiates from the cosmic dust, which consumes us all. Viv managed to get to the top floor of the building. Windows on all sides surround the gallery, so you can see the rain and wind-blowing earth all around you. It's as if she planned this night perfectly.
I look around the event for my friends and see Viv in the haze, surrounded by a few men who don't look familiar. I walk in and try to look as interesting and seductive as possible.
"There she is! The guest of honor, the bat of the night, Mon Meilleur Ami...My best friend!"
I couldn't have made a grander entrance.
"Lady in red! Come have a drink."
It appears as though Viv has started the party early. I introduce myself to everyone, and I get to the final person.
He looks at me, slyly smiling.
"I'm Daniel."
"Silver," I say while maintaining eye contact for a bit too long.
"Viv has told me everything about you," he says with a smirk
"Well, let's hope not. What else would we talk about?" I say slyly, matching his energy.
Viv yells from across the way and motions us to a table she got
"Wow, where did all these people come from, Viv?" I try to yell out over the music.
"You haven't been out around people in a hundred years because you're basically a ghost, so I made new friends - I still love you, though!"
She is right. I haven't gone out in a while. My father was diagnosed with cancer a while ago, and ever since then, I've been stuck in this void. I find myself working, going home, and painting to take my mind off things. Being around other people is not my thing. I don't seek solitude in the confines of other people. I hide away until the storm passes.
"She's out now. Let's have some fun," Daniel yells out to change the subject as he sees I'm uncomfortable.
Three shots and a few live bands later, I find myself in a daze of happiness. It feels good being around Viv. She always knows how to take my mind off things.
Suddenly, my phone rings, and I look down to see my sister's name on the screen.
'Hey, what's up?" I say while laughing
"Are you out drinking?" my sister asks, surprised
"Yes, I, the vampire, am out," I scream while laughing
My sister doesn't make a sound
"What's up? Are you ok?" I ask as I straighten my posture
"Did you know Dad was much sicker than he was telling us?" She asks as if I know the answer
I immediately run to the elevators, leaving my friends behind to go outside to listen to my sister. I finally get outside. The rain has stopped, but bursts of wind sway nature around like a dramatic dance. I find a bench near the building to catch my breath and to hold onto something stable.
"What do you mean?" I ask
A few years ago, our father was diagnosed with a rare, unexplained illness. Despite repeated tests, the doctors haven't been able to identify a clear origin - no definitive source, no precise diagnosis. Each month, his body declines a little more: muscle weakening, energy fading, systems slowing in ways they can measure but not fully explain. It's a gradual deterioration, clinical in its progression, but hard to witness - like something unseen is steadily drawing him inward, beyond where medicine can reach…
